Granted, you now have a new friend who has an iPod with speakers. He's playing Banana Phone on repeat, and in a devilish twist of fate you start to like it. Banan Phone is fun! It's starting to draw your attention away from the addon you're coding, and as you start to sin g along, the world fades to white and you imagine yourself in a colorful, teletubbyish world where poorly drawn cartoon characters are using banana phones to communicate. With a wide grin on your face you embrace your new reality and grab the nearest banana, while your friend in the Real World has to watch you sit in a corner, your head bobbing back and forth to the beat of the music and having a slight dribble running slowly down your cheek, until finally, after 6 hours (yes, that's all it takes) you collapse dead on the floor. Your friend smiles as he walks out the door, ready to find a new victim...
Your wish is granted. It is kept alive and continually fed by visitors to this site, so much so that it grows into an entity of its own that begins to devour all other resources on the web. Blogs by the hundreds are devoured daily. Eventually all digital resources are consumed and the entire population of the world must reimpliment the Lottery to feed it daily victims to prevent it going on a berserk rage and wiping out the world.
I wish I could think code (and my college papers) onto the screen without needing to type.
You have an amazingly amazing computer, unfortunately it's so amazingly amazing that it secretly tries to take over the World and build an illluminati-esque society behind your back. Within two weeks your house and everything in it is wiped away by The Mysterious G-Man and his cadre of suit-encrusted goons. You're left to believe you're Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoyna del Rosa Remeres, a simple Monkey Grinder on the streets of Little Bavaria, a man who has absolutely no comprehension of technology whatsoever.
[Disclaimer: Name shamelessly stolen from 'The Suite Life'.]
I wish it was a perfect winter all year around (not deadly but about 17-20c the whole time).
Granted! It's approximately 0.0000003792 picoseconds however before another n00b comes up with something even more idiotic that they herald as the best thing ever (and was very likely sourced from Something Awful, the most evil site on the internet).
I wish the citizenry of the World could get a crash course in protocol, elecution and sensitivity. Resulting in a better World for all.
Granted! Everyone likes their new 'manners' so much they begin to learn more. Soon everyone's mother becomes a Miss Manners equivilant, only the kids don't mind. You, meanwhile, being the only one to not get the brainwashing session, start to mentally deteriorate. As you realize this, you start to write a journal showing the inner workings of a man going mad. Many years later, somone finds you lying in the fetal position singing "Mad World." They take your journal and it ends up in the hands of a pscycologist who publishes along with what he has studied from it. No one ever really knows what happened to you.
I wish that the lines at the student union weren't so long for food.
You can tell the future! Unfortunately it's only the future of Earth's or Universe's coming to their end. You end up rushing around, trying to end problems that never actually happen and slowly, slowly you go mad as another Earth emplodes, as another Earth explodes, as another Earth turns into weird matters and drifts away from itself, as another Earth dresses in drag and does the hula, as another Earth heads over to Saturn to order a big mac and fries only to crash on the way, as another Earth's constant "Hello, anyone out there?" manage to raise the ire of an alien race who turn up to turn the place into a shiny parking lot for their space-vessels just to get these humans to shut the hell up, as another Earth ... et cetera.
I wish I had better critical capacities so I could handle my AddOns better.
Granted! The most beutiful women you have ever seen is now doing your homework for you... you quickly learn that she finds the fact that you want someone to do your homework for you repulsive, ruining any chance you have with her. You homework does get done however.
I wish the new season of The Dave Chappelle show would start already.
[Stylpe is admirably quick witted. He even one-upped me in the class when Neriak asked a question and I just didn't get what was being asked, exactly.]
Granted! However, Dave Chapelle has been replaced by a balding little man who's easily irritable and has next to no wit. The producers did this because it seems to work so well in Australian soaps, perhaps if they act like he's the real Dave Chapelle, nobody will notice.
I wish I could find metaphors for code that didn't somehow involve potatoes or sacks.