Congratulations! You can now absorb books by a mere touch, unfortunately your friends think this is funny and soon they have you "accidentally" passing your hands over cheesy romance novels and slash-fiction. After a week, all you can recall are the unending pickup lines of musclebound nads-fer-brains, displacing all other knowledge that once was. The Midas touch is always a curse.
Granted! You now sing just like her. You also develop an obsession with Russel Crowe and everything related to the Gladiator movie. You will only ever dress in the garb of a Roman legionaire anywhere you go and you demand your friends call you Maximus.
Granted! Except your meatballs are really the well disguised bjorg! A self-replicating meatball-like virus of ... I'm not sure where I'm going with this but comparing Borg with Bjorg and the obvious meatball reference did seem funny at the time. Er, um. You get meatballs with your code but er, um ... they clog the works and create Timex-like overhead (at least before it was fixed)?
I wish that my brain wasn't fried after having fixed Timex.
Granted! You now have the life of an everyday bean counter. Perhaps eventually you'll get picked up by a superhero and dragged off on heroic jaunts you're completely unprepared for. You'd have to be wearing a moth-suit at work first, though.
I wish I had the entire series of the Invisibles, in dead tree format and all first prints.
Granted! You get a Tivo and you love it. You quickly become addicted and respond to social invitations with "Why don't you take your <social event>, and shove it up your ass! I'm watching Tivo!" Soon you don't even get up to eat. You eventually waste away sitting in front of the TV.
(sorry I had to jack that)
I wish, I could get past this damned mental block so I could finish ItemCompare before 1.7 is released.
Granted! You lose your mental block and the devs at Blizzard gain it. Path 1.7 is delayed inevitably and you end up crusading to get it released. It never does and you are left bemoaning your perpetually unreleased but complete and absolutely smashing ItemCompare.
Granted, you are now a Master of time. You can play time like a VCR! This is cool for a while because you're able to rewind time to save yourself from death; you become a lthreethreet Ninja, with all the riches the World might muster. However, the increasing boredom of being stuck on Earth has driven you to insanity and deep within the depths of your own twisted mind, you no longer have any access to those powers whatsoever; somewhere in your mind you're Lance Buckshot, travelling the Universe with countless buxom babes, in reality however you sit in a quiet, padded cell. A drooling vegetable, a warning to those who would seek ultimate power.
I wish I could get AceLeash released (if belatedly), I've had the new globals system in place for a while now but this forum is too addictive!
Granted! You can now eat food over the internet, unfortunately this leaves you with a virus which alters your perceptions wildly. Almost everything in the realms of reality looks like food now. It all ends horribly with the misconception that that traffic meter over there was a lollipop.
"Omigod, that Car has bite-marks in it!"
[Disclaimer: This wish fulfilment was shamelessly ripped off from Teen Titans.]
I wish I could have even more fun whilst testing my AddOns (there need to be more people just standing around when I'm trying things out).