I don't think harassment of the author is in order for a 'niche' method of installation.
The whole idea of embedded libraries is to have standalone addons you can point a user to and they work out of the box.
InventoryOnPar works just fine if you get the embedded version afaik.
I'm more annoyed by established addons (and very competent authors) that don't ensure their addons work without other addons or libraries installed.
If a user is savvy enough to install dis-embedded for whatever marginal benefits,
he'd better know how to fix such minor inconveniences, something I wouldn't expect from the average Curse, wowinterface etc
user who are the vast majority of them (despite they don't post here)
Standalone libs are not a "niche method". The libraries themselves are designed to be able to be run standalone. It's hardly unreasonable to expect that an author who uses an embeddable library in his or her addon to spend 30 seconds to ensure that the addon will work with either embedded or standalone libraries. And in most cases, I seriously doubt the author consciously chooses to make his addon fail for standalone lib users; he simply doesn't know or doesn't think about it, in which case asking him to add the required libs to his OptionalDeps is perfectly justified.
You say "if a user is savvy enough"... what about the author? Shouldn't he be savvy enough to know he can't rely on all users running a default setup, and do his best to ensure that his addon is usable by everyone?
Plus, from a purely logical standpoint, it's far more efficient for the addon author to spend 30 seconds adding a few library titles to OptionalDeps and committing the change than it is for multiple users to each spend the same amount of time fixing their own local copy each time the addon is updated.
It's also a poor practice from a public-relations standpoint. If you've released an addon to the public, you want users to be happy with it. If I download an addon that looks promising, and am greeted in-game by an error that may as well say "I didn't feel like spending 30 seconds to make sure you could use my addon", it's not a good first impression.
1. Add any libraries your addon needs to function to the svn-externals property.
2. Make an embeds.xml file and include a reference to each library you embedded in step 1. Reference this file in your .toc.
3. Make an X-Embeds field in your .toc and list the standalone name of each library you embedded in step 1. This ensures that updaters with "auto detect required libs" know what is needed for the addon to function.
4. Make an OptionalDeps field in your .toc and list the standalone name of each library you embedded in step 1. This is also the appropriate place to list optional libraries that you addon will take advantage of if they're installed to provide extra functionality, but aren't required, and aren't embedded. It's also where you'd list other addons your addon would like to be loaded before it.
For example, when you embed an Ace2 library, you just embed the parts you need, like AceLibrary, AceOO-2.0, AceLibrary-2.0, AceEvent-2.0, etc. You list those names in svn-externals and embeds.xml. But since there is no standalone AceOO-2.0, you would need to list Ace2 in the X-Embeds and OptionalDeps.
There's nothing special you need to do in your actual code; libraries function the same whether they're embedded or not. All you need to do is ensure that the libraries are present to be used.
Maybe I'll make a wiki page. Or maybe Seerah will make one, since I'm lazy. :P