[Stylpe is admirably quick witted. He even one-upped me in the class when Neriak asked a question and I just didn't get what was being asked, exactly.]
Granted! However, Dave Chapelle has been replaced by a balding little man who's easily irritable and has next to no wit. The producers did this because it seems to work so well in Australian soaps, perhaps if they act like he's the real Dave Chapelle, nobody will notice.
I wish I could find metaphors for code that didn't somehow involve potatoes or sacks.
You can tell the future! Unfortunately it's only the future of Earth's or Universe's coming to their end. You end up rushing around, trying to end problems that never actually happen and slowly, slowly you go mad as another Earth emplodes, as another Earth explodes, as another Earth turns into weird matters and drifts away from itself, as another Earth dresses in drag and does the hula, as another Earth heads over to Saturn to order a big mac and fries only to crash on the way, as another Earth's constant "Hello, anyone out there?" manage to raise the ire of an alien race who turn up to turn the place into a shiny parking lot for their space-vessels just to get these humans to shut the hell up, as another Earth ... et cetera.
I wish I had better critical capacities so I could handle my AddOns better.
Granted! It's approximately 0.0000003792 picoseconds however before another n00b comes up with something even more idiotic that they herald as the best thing ever (and was very likely sourced from Something Awful, the most evil site on the internet).
I wish the citizenry of the World could get a crash course in protocol, elecution and sensitivity. Resulting in a better World for all.
You have an amazingly amazing computer, unfortunately it's so amazingly amazing that it secretly tries to take over the World and build an illluminati-esque society behind your back. Within two weeks your house and everything in it is wiped away by The Mysterious G-Man and his cadre of suit-encrusted goons. You're left to believe you're Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoyna del Rosa Remeres, a simple Monkey Grinder on the streets of Little Bavaria, a man who has absolutely no comprehension of technology whatsoever.
[Disclaimer: Name shamelessly stolen from 'The Suite Life'.]
I wish it was a perfect winter all year around (not deadly but about 17-20c the whole time).
Granted! You can now eat food over the internet, unfortunately this leaves you with a virus which alters your perceptions wildly. Almost everything in the realms of reality looks like food now. It all ends horribly with the misconception that that traffic meter over there was a lollipop.
"Omigod, that Car has bite-marks in it!"
[Disclaimer: This wish fulfilment was shamelessly ripped off from Teen Titans.]
I wish I could have even more fun whilst testing my AddOns (there need to be more people just standing around when I'm trying things out).
Granted, you are now a Master of time. You can play time like a VCR! This is cool for a while because you're able to rewind time to save yourself from death; you become a lthreethreet Ninja, with all the riches the World might muster. However, the increasing boredom of being stuck on Earth has driven you to insanity and deep within the depths of your own twisted mind, you no longer have any access to those powers whatsoever; somewhere in your mind you're Lance Buckshot, travelling the Universe with countless buxom babes, in reality however you sit in a quiet, padded cell. A drooling vegetable, a warning to those who would seek ultimate power.
I wish I could get AceLeash released (if belatedly), I've had the new globals system in place for a while now but this forum is too addictive!
Granted! You now have the life of an everyday bean counter. Perhaps eventually you'll get picked up by a superhero and dragged off on heroic jaunts you're completely unprepared for. You'd have to be wearing a moth-suit at work first, though.
I wish I had the entire series of the Invisibles, in dead tree format and all first prints.
Granted! Except your meatballs are really the well disguised bjorg! A self-replicating meatball-like virus of ... I'm not sure where I'm going with this but comparing Borg with Bjorg and the obvious meatball reference did seem funny at the time. Er, um. You get meatballs with your code but er, um ... they clog the works and create Timex-like overhead (at least before it was fixed)?
I wish that my brain wasn't fried after having fixed Timex.
Congratulations! You can now absorb books by a mere touch, unfortunately your friends think this is funny and soon they have you "accidentally" passing your hands over cheesy romance novels and slash-fiction. After a week, all you can recall are the unending pickup lines of musclebound nads-fer-brains, displacing all other knowledge that once was. The Midas touch is always a curse.
Granted! However, most geeks stay up at night anyway due to the simple fact that global warming has heated up the average day temperature so much that it's not good for their pores or the machines that they work with. In fact, so many geeks have switched their efforts over to the darker side of the 24-hour cycle that most businesses opening times have reversed, opening at PM and closing at AM. This creates a massive divide in the World and eventually they decide to call this divide; time-zones.
I wish that Doom Bee would stop buzzing around my open PC, lest my PC's many fans shall smite it and possibly worse things could happen.
Pepsi now has a miraculous chemical in it which repairs and whitens teeth! Huzzah! Unfortunately, a few months later it's also found that mass consumption of this chemical can render people impotent. Oops.
[Wait, is this a bad thing?]
I wish for more of the folks I know to end up in City of Heroes!
Granted! It's actually the greatest mobile service ever too, the envy of iPod owners everywhere. Unfortunately, somehow you're the only person that managed to get in on the beta for the project and everyone around you now hates you for having superiour stuff to what they've got.
[Unless you're lucky enough to know people RL that aren't materialistic, in which case, I wish for your RL friends. ;p]
I wish Gothic III was out already. I want to take on Dinosaurs with a wooden sword!
A mysterious man sends you a package full of every Doctor Who DVD released in the UK. Unfortunately, they all contain secret subliminal messages that turn you into a right-wing political activist that happens to hate Doctor Who and all the "liberal hogwash" that it stands for.
I wish there was a form of sweetner that wasn't bad for the human brain.