You could make an addon just as good without a framework. "Addon incompatibilities" are (amongst possible other things) caused by crappily written addons. Using a framework or not has nothing to do with this.
You may not see the problem, but the parallels to MS, "dll hell", and their solutions to it are there - one would be wise to at least see the problems which they had, and what solutions they came up with.
Ignoring the fact that we are working with lua - and while I can't speak for everyone, I haven't done anything ever with MS and code, so I have no idea what you are talking about.
I do like to point out that problems should be dealt with at the root - i.e. If you have a crap computer then its not the code's fault. If you use 100 addons then its not the code's fault - instead of trying to make minimal optimizations in the code at the cost of redesigning the way everything loads and adding a whole lotta extra code (which is, in turn, what you don't want).